Is a really amazing privilege. It essentially means that you are the person who the bride will count on the most to help her with and on the day of her wedding. And because of that, being a maid of honor is a tough job. I think that because Colleen and I are such a team and because I am a big sister, I was probably more involved in the wedding than the average maid of honor. In fact, I even ended up coordinating during part of the wedding as well as decorating some of the venue on the day of so that Colleen could relax and focus on getting married. I realize that’s not typical. But I really think it is important that people realize what they are getting involved in when they become a maid of honor. Some people will read this and think I am being overdramatic. But I think this is a responsibility that should be taken seriously. Getting married is a very important time in someone’s life. And I believe it should be as enjoyable for them as possible. As maid of honor it is your job to do everything you can to ensure that. I have some items to note and tips for anyone who may become a maid of honor.
1) Your opinion doesn’t really matter. The bride will ask you frequently what your opinion is about a bridesmaid dress or a flower or a cake, etc. The best plan of action in this scenario is to use your magical maid of honor powers to figure out what her opinion actually is on the matter. Then just agree with it. And remind her that her opinion is the most important one because it is her wedding and should be a reflection of her taste. I can’t even begin to count how many times I said this to Colleen. “It’s your wedding.”
2) It is your primary job to keep the bride’s emotional well-being in tact. Brides are actually pretty fragile. I don’t know why. But I can tell you that Colleen has always been the antithesis of fragile. As soon as she became a bride, this took a 180. I think it may be because of all the pressure to have a perfect wedding. But whatever the case may be, they will be emotional. Ever so much more so than usual. And your job is to reassure them that everything will be okay. Better than okay. That their decisions are perfect. If they share a decision they make about the wedding with you, whether it be the music choices or the napkin color, you need to let them know that you are excited about it. A lukewarm, “that’s nice,” will not suffice.
3) It is actually pretty important that you be aware of how the bride wants her wedding to be, down to the little details. So pay attention. I found that on the day of Colleen’s wedding, a LOT of questions were being asked. When is this supposed to happen? Where does that go? Unless the bride has hired a wedding planner or legitimate day of coordinator (I am not referring to a person who works at the venue who says they will help out on the day of), there will be exactly 3 people who know the answers to these questions. That will be the bride, her mother (maybe), and you. And guess what honey. You getting to relax and enjoy yourself is not as important as the bride and her mother enjoying themselves. So you will be answering some questions.
4) On Bachelorette parties. Generally it is your job to plan them. It is important to keep the bride in mind when planning them and choose something she wants to do. However, it is also important to try to keep things relatively affordable so as not to upset the herd. For Colleen’s bachelorette party, Colleen and I also planned little goody bags for all the bridesmaids so that they could know how much we appreciated them coming. This is optional obviously, but I think it went over pretty well and started the weekend off on a positive note after everyone had to travel after a long day of work.
5) You will be spending some extra money. Just keep your mouth shut and spend it. Even if it means ramen noodles and cans of tuna. Most people will only get a chance to be a maid of honor once in a lifetime if they are lucky. You can manage.
Despite the fact that it’s not as glamorous as the movies would have you believe (what is?) and you most likely will not be able to leisure and eat bon bons, being a maid of honor is one of the most fun and exciting things I have ever done. And I would honestly not trade it in for anything in the world.